Hey, I got a boob job.
And other lies I might tell you. (The whole I got a boob job got you here, didn’t it?… Might as well pull up a chair and read the rest… providing you’re bored to tears and don’t have a life on...
View ArticleWe don’t care about your bodily functions.
A friend of mine recently became a divorced, single mom. She’s back in the dating game and is really having a hard time finding, well, a guy who isn’t a total pig. Sure, she expects some piggish...
View ArticleWhere did I put that?
I hate to cook. I. HATE. IT. I am not Martha Stewartish or Rachel Rayish in the slightest. I would rather stab YOU (no offense) in the ass than cook a meal. Ask the meatloaf. However, there are...
View ArticleThe Box (May Sucketh)
I’m going to give a movie review. Because? I feel like it. No, I do not do this professionally (yet) and no one is asking me to do this, I’m just a giver. What can I say? I’m going to talk about...
View Article10 Reasons Why Winter Blows
*Note* If you came here just because you thought I was naked in a hat and mittens, shame on you. But it worked, right (and technically, that IS all I’m wearing except you can’t see the rest)? And now...
View Article*Exclusive* Never Before Seen iPhone Apps (PHOTOS)
Do you have an iPhone? I do. I love mine. I sleep with it. I mean, uh, that’s creepy. Only freaks sleep with their iPhone. But I digress… Are you an iPhone apps whore? And by iPhone apps whore,...
View ArticleIn which I stabbed the red blanket.
I love Chenille yarn. It’s so soft and warm. I have a couple of sweaters made with it and I love them. And what’s nicer than cuddling up on the couch, covered with a Chenille blanket? OK, maybe...
View ArticleFunny. My kids get older and I get younger.
Life is funny, right? Like, how does it work that my kids get older and I get younger? Yes, I’m cute but totally fucking delusional. My middle son turned 22-years-old a few days ago (and I’m only 26…...
View ArticleDear Santa: Here is what I want this year.
Christmas is 319 (or 318, or 317, or 316… depends on when you read this. You get the idea) days away. And while that seems like a long time, it will creep up on us faster than blowflies on a dead...
View ArticleI hate you. Here’s why:
Because you’re stupid. You flooded our house with your dumbassness. When water is leaking from a tap that is on, TURN IT OFF. Do not wrap many feet of electrical tape around the WET , LEAKING...
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